Subtitle: Because who needs actual governance when you can have a plate of slightly-burnt-but-still-edible chicken nuggets?
Undermining is the art of manipulating the system to get what you want, without actually getting caught. In this guide, we'll cover the advanced techniques used by the best underminers in the business.
Also known as the "Microwaved Food Heist," this technique involves cooking your meal in the microwave for exactly 3.14 minutes and 59.99 seconds. This creates a perfect balance of slightly-burnt-but-still-edible flavors and textures, making it almost impossible to tell that it's not actually food.
Example: Cook a plate of chicken nuggets in the microwave for 3 minutes and 59.99 seconds. The difference between 3:59.99 and 4:00 is negligible, but trust us, it's crucial.
Advanced Techniques for Perfectly Edible Microwaved Cereal
Undermining 101: The Basics of Slightly-Burnt-But-Still-Edible Cuisine
Label your food with something that sounds vaguely threatening or foreboding, like "Experimental" or "Acquired in the Field." This will make people question the true nature of the food, but not really.
Example: Label a plate of leftover pizza with "Acquired in the Field, May Contain Actual Field." This will create a sense of mystery and intrigue, making people more likely to take a bite.
Suggestive Labeling for the Win!
Underminers use misdirection to distract from their true intentions while still achieving their goals. In this case, the goal is to get people to eat your microwaved food without questioning its edibility.
Example: Cook a plate of eggs and pretend it's a rare, exotic delicacy from a far-off land. Use a map, a compass, and a few strategically-placed props to create an aura of adventure and mystery.