Office Politics Pitfalls: Bike-to-Work Program

It's a beautiful day to ride into the abyss of office politics, isn't it?

Our company is so committed to employee wellness that we're implementing a bike-to-work program. Because, you know, nothing says "wellness" like being forced to ride a bike in 5-inch heels and a power suit.

Here's the deal: you'll get a free bike, but only if you agree to wear it to work every day, rain or shine, with a minimum of 10 pounds of paperwork strapped to the back rack.

But don't worry, we'll make sure the bike has a built-in espresso machine, because who needs a break room when you can just drink your morning joe on the go? Bike Accessoires

			// JavaScript for the bike's built-in espresso machine
			function makeEspresso() {
				return 'You will never be able to focus on your work.';
			}
			// End of JavaScript for the bike's built-in espresso machine
		

Don't forget to sign up for our Required Reading program, where you'll get to read all about the company's latest memos and policy changes.

We're also offering a special promotion: the first 10 employees to ride their bike to work every day for a week will get a free parking spot right next to the CEO's office. Promotions

So what are you waiting for? Get on that bike and ride into the sunset... of your dreams!