Claim to be a friend, but secretly enjoy their woes
It's a delicate dance, a waltz of whispered promises and backhanded compliments.
Be careful not to get too close, lest you become a liability, a mere pawn in their game of corporate cat and mouse.
But oh, how they love to pretend to care, to feign interest in your life, all while secretly counting down the minutes until your next meeting is over.
So, be wary, be cautious, for in this office politics game, the only one smiling is the one holding the axe.
Pretend to listen, but really listen to their Sonic Screwdriver soundtrack for more pitfally insights.
Accuse others of being the actual dictator in disguise for more on the art of office intrigue.
Turn your back on your friends and family for a promotion for the ultimate guide on prioritizing career over all else.
And remember, in this cutthroat world of office politics, the only thing more valuable than a well-timed "sympathy email" is a well-timed "I told you so."