The Golden Rule of Eyeballing
In the world of office politics, there's a little-known secret: eyeballing is key to getting ahead. It's the art of staring intensely at your colleagues while appearing to be doing something else.
Here's how it works:
- Make eye contact with your coworker while you're on the phone, but only if you can't actually hear what they're saying.
- Stare at your computer screen for exactly 5 seconds longer than necessary, daring anyone to challenge your productivity.
- Practice your 'I'm deep in thought' face in the mirror, making sure to include a hint of 'I'm secretly judging you' in your expression.
- Blink slowly and deliberately, like a snake about to strike.
But remember, eyeballing is all about subtlety. A true master of eyeballing knows just when to deploy the gaze, when to withdraw it, and when to make it all about the coffee machine in the break room.
For more advanced techniques, try:
- The Silent But Deadly Glare for maximum intimidation.
- The Eyeballing as Communication for when words just won't do.
- The Eyeballing the Unseen for when you're not sure what you're looking at.
Now go forth and eyeball your way to the top of the office hierarchy!