The Internal Memo on Stapler Misuse

MEMORANDUM

To: All Employees

From: Management

Subject: The Unacceptable Abuse of Staple Binders in the Office

We are writing to inform you that the stapling of reports, documents, and other important papers has become a source of great concern.

The excessive use of staple binders has led to an alarming rate of jammed office machines, bent paper clips, and bruised fingers.

We are therefore implementing new guidelines for staple usage:

• Limit stapling to only 3 staples per document.
• Use a staple remover for all staples that are stuck in the machine.
• Report any stapling-related injuries to HR immediately.

Failure to comply with these guidelines will result in disciplinary action, up to and including mandatory attendance at a Staple-Abuse Awareness Training session.

Do not attempt to staple anything to your chair, your colleague, or your favorite coffee mug. This is not a drill.

Management.