Warning: Stalking May Cause Injury or Death
Or, you know, not.
As a valued member of the office, you have the right to know everything about everyone, all the time. This appendix is here to guide you on how to exercise that right.
- Step 1: Install spy software on your coworker's computer
- Step 2: Hack their email and social media accounts
- Step 3: Set up a hidden camera in the supply closet
And for the love of all things good and holy, do not attempt to do these things. Or, you know, do. We're not judging you.
Side Effects of Stalking May Include:
- Excessive sweating
- Uncontrollable eye-rolling
- Spontaneous combustion