Breaking: The stapler-gate scandal continues to unfold, with allegations of stapling mishaps and cover-ups at the highest levels.
Our sources close to the office supply chain report that Stapler-Gate 1, the infamous stapling of the stapler, was just the tip of the iceberg. It appears that our esteemed office administrator, Bob Smith, has been using his stapler privileges for nefarious purposes.
Details are emerging that Bob has been using the stapler to staple important documents to the carpet, staple fellow employees to their chairs, and even staple the company cat to the wall.
The office is in chaos, with employees on high alert and the stapler supply running low. Will anyone be held accountable for this stapling travesty?
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story.