STAPLER-GATE HEARING: THE EVIDENCE

Today, we're here to present the evidence in the most explosive scandal to hit our office since "Pencil-gate" in '07.

Behold, the infamous Stapler:

As you can see, this Stapler is not just a stapler. It's a stapler with attitude. It's a stapler with a mind of its own.

Witness the evidence for yourself: a series of cryptic notes scrawled on the break room whiteboard:

They're watching us

Don't. Staple.

It's alive!

These notes, written in the dead of night, hint at a sinister plot to control the office supply chain.

Stay vigilant, friends. The truth is out there. And it's stapled to the conference room table.