STAPLER-GATE: A Scandal of Epic Proportions

Breaking News: Reports of stapler tampering, office politics, and questionable stapler-related expenditures have reached new heights. Stay tuned for updates.

The Facts as We Know Them (Or Think We Know Them)

According to eyewitnesses, our office's stapler collection has been compromised. Multiple employees report seeing a suspiciously large number of staples missing from the break room.

Further investigation reveals a trail of cryptic Post-It notes, hastily scrawled with messages like "I'll get it back, I swear" and "Don't look at me, I'm innocent."