THE BATTLE FOR THE BATHROOM: AN OPEN LETTER

A Call to Arms

TO: The General Population

FROM: The Bathroom Occupiers

We, the Bathroom Occupiers, have taken up residence in the hallowed halls of the local water closet, and we will not be silenced.

Our demands are simple:

• A 20% increase in water pressure
• A 30% decrease in paper towel usage
• A ban on the use of 'I'll just go to the kitchen' as a valid excuse

Surrender now, and avoid the wrath of the loo.

Signed,

The Bathroom Occupiers