Employee of the Month: Bob's Procrastination Tips

Procrastination is an Art Form

Bobs' Procrastination Tips is a highly acclaimed series of guides for the chronically indecisive. As Employee of the Month, Bob has mastered the art of doing nothing.

Here are some of his top tips for maximum productivity in minimal time:

  1. 1. Make a list of_goals. No, scratch that, make 17 lists. Prioritize the ones that sound the most interesting.
  2. 2. Check your phone. Check social media. Check email. Check the weather. Check the time. Check your reflection in a window.
  3. 3. Take a break. Take a walk. Take a nap. Take a shower. Repeat as necessary.
  4. 4. Reorganize your desk. Reorganize your files. Reorganize your thoughts. Reorganize your socks.
  5. 5. Learn to play the harmonica. No, not really. Just stare at it. Pretend it's a puzzle.
  6. 6. Call in sick. Tell your boss you've got a family emergency. A family emergency involving a raccoon.

And for your reading pleasure, a special bonus tip:

Learn to play the harmonica in under 10 minutes!