Overpriced Coffee Machine - Fortress Amenities

The Overpriced Coffee Machine is the crown jewel of our office space. With its sleek design and cutting-edge technology, this machine brews a cup of coffee that's almost as bitter as our CEO's personality.

Amenities

Mini Fridge

Because you can never have too many snacks, especially not in the break room.

Super-Fast Printers

Print out your resume, your cat, or your entire 500-page novel in seconds. (Just kidding about that last one.)

Ergonomic Chairs

Our chairs have been scientifically designed to give you back pain and crippling debt.

Features

The Overpriced Coffee Machine is equipped with:

$5000 - The price of a small house in a different neighborhood
Advanced Water Resistant Coatings - Because accidents happen
Automatic Coffee Bean Dispensers - No more manual pouring!
Built-in Coffee Cup Warmers - For that extra touch of warmth

Reviews

Our users say:

"This thing is a waste of money, but it's so shiny and pretty." - John D.

"I've spent an entire paycheck on coffee, but I'm still not caffeinated." - Jane S.

Subscribe to our newsletter for updates on new and exciting ways to waste your money.