Fortress Fundraiser Guard 2

Welcome to the most secure, most exclusive, most utterly unnecessary fundraising event in the galaxy!

We're raising money for the "I'm-a- millionaire-by-the-end-of-the-month" club. Join us, and get:

• A personalized, hand-delivered, autographed, and slightly-used tissue for your favorite aunt.
• A 20% chance of getting a free hug from our CEO (but only on Tuesdays)
• A complimentary, non-transferable, and highly-conditional "I Survived the Fortress Fundraiser" t-shirt

Don't miss out! Contribute now, or forever live with the knowledge that you could have been a part of something truly, truly special.

Pledge Your Life Savings Join the Tuesday Hug Club (Free Hugs Included!)