Fortress of Solitude, Office Space

Welcome, brave adventurers, to the most isolated and unapproachable fortress in all the land! Here, you'll find the most efficient, the most productive, and the most completely-not- abandoned office space this side of the equator.

Our state-of-the-art facilities feature:

• Completely functional toilets that don't leak or smell like mildew
• Windows that don't open, so you can't escape!
• A state-of-the-art coffee machine that only dispenses disappointment
• A fully-stocked fridge with a selection of last week's leftovers!
• A 24/7 supply of paperwork to fill out!

Notable Features:

• The 'Lost Souls' room, where we've stored all the employees who wandered off to find the exit
• The 'Soul Crushing' break room, where you can take a break from the crushing ennui of existence
• The 'Eternal Loop' staircase, where the elevator has been stuck on the 5th floor since 2001

Want to know more about our:

• Torture Chamber - where our employees go to get a little 'motivation'
• Lost and Found - for items you'll never see again
• Employee of the Month - our employee of the month feature, where one person gets to wear a crown of shame