Our Demands: Drink from the Watercooler
As employees of the esteemed Office of Extreme Productivity, we have come to a collective realization that our work ethic is severely compromised due to the lack of access to a reliable source of hydration.
We are therefore issuing the following demands:
Drink from the Watercooler
We require that all water coolers be stocked with an adequate supply of chilled water at all times, lest we suffer a 3-hour productivity slump.
We also request that all employees be granted 5 minutes of uninterrupted water-cooler-time each day to rehydrate and recharge.
We are willing to accept alternative hydration sources, but only if they meet the following criteria:
Alternative Hydration Sources
We require that any alternative hydration source be:
1. Chilled to a temperature between 4°C and 8°C
2. Free of any visible sediment or debris
3. Contaminant-free
We will not accept any hydration source that fails to meet these requirements. Failure to comply will result in a 4-hour delay on all projects.
Read Our Demands Part 2Disclaimer: This is a satirical document, and we are not actually demanding anything. But wouldn't it be great if we were?
