Policy Updates: Because We're Not Lazy

New Policy: Mandatory Morning Sing-Alongs

As of today, all employees are required to participate in daily 30-minute morning sing-alongs to boost office morale and productivity. Our team of experts have carefully curated a set of catchy tunes to get you pumped up for the day.

• Monday: "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor
• Tuesday: "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey
• Wednesday: "I'm a Little Teapot" (a company favorite)
• Thursday: "Thriller" by Michael Jackson (with a choreographed dance break)
• Friday: "We Are the Champions" (because, let's be real, we're basically champions)

Meet the Music Committee: The Heroes of Our Breakroom

New Policy: Mandatory Vacation Days

As of today, all employees are entitled to 2 hours off per week to recharge and refresh. Don't worry, we're not trying to be hipsters or anything.

• Monday: "Beach Day" - 1 hour off to pretend you're on a beach somewhere
• Tuesday: "Hike Day" - 1 hour off to pretend you're in nature or whatever
• Wednesday: "Couch Day" - 1 hour off to binge-watch your favorite show (we won't judge)
• Thursday: "Museum Day" - 1 hour off to visit a local museum (or a nice coffee shop)
• Friday: "Pajama Day" - 1 hour off to wear pajamas to work (no, seriously, just 2 hours off)

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