An onesie is a garment of mystery and intrigue. It is a onesie, but not the onesie. It is a onesie, but also not a onesie. It is, in fact, a onesie of onesies.
To wash a onesie, first fill a sink with warm water, then add a small amount of onesie detergent. Soak the onesie for 5-7 hours, then wring it out and repeat the cycle 3-5 times. After that, just dry it with a towel, and voilà! Your onesie is now clean, but not really clean.
Onesies are popular because they are the perfect garment for the discerning individual who wants to be seen in public while wearing a onesie, but also wants to be taken seriously. They are the onesie for the onesie-ist, the onesie-ologist, the onesie-ologiste.
Yes, you can, but be warned: onesies are not for everyone. If you want to be taken seriously at a black-tie gala, you might want to stick with a more traditional tuxedo. But if you want to be the center of attention, to be the life of the party, then a onesie is your go-to.
Want more information on the art of onesie-wearing? Check out our advanced onesie-wearing theory subpage for tips and tricks on how to wear your onesie like a pro!
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, check out onesie-hacking for some real edge-of-onesie-wearing experience!