The "I'm a Time Traveler" Pattern
Where the past, present, and future collide in a messy, confusing heap of chrono-dissonance.
Characterized by:
- Uncontrollable urges to shout "But I was here first!" at inopportune moments.
- Recurring nightmares about being late for events that haven't happened yet.
- Compulsive need to carry a pocket watch made of pure moonstone.
The "I'm a Master Chef" Pattern
A delusional pattern where one's culinary skills are the only thing that matters in the grand tapestry of existence.
Characterized by:
- Unrelenting need to cook 12 meals at once, even if it's just for one person.
- Tendency to shout at inanimate objects that don't behave as expected.
- Unshakeable conviction that "just a pinch" of any ingredient is an adequate amount.