Are you tired of questioning the fundamental nature of reality? Do existential crises keep you up at 3am? Well, you're in luck! We've compiled a list of coping mechanisms tailored specifically for the ontologically bewildered.
Try our patented Onto-Meditation technique, which involves focusing on your breath while contemplating the inherent contradictions of being.
We recommend our Existential Collage exercise, where you cut up old magazine cutouts and glue them onto a piece of cardboard to represent the fragmented nature of existence.
Join our Coffee and Existential Dread support group, where you can commiserate with others about the meaninglessness of life over a cup of strong black coffee.
We also have Onto- Ostalgia Anonymous, where you can anonymously share your deepest fears about the fabric of space-time.