Emergency Rations
We are currently experiencing a critical shortage of emergency rations, including but not limited to:
- Red Cross-approved granola bars (out of stock)
- Self-sustaining protein bars with a 50% chance of exploding
- Water purification tablets with an 80% chance of making you question the value of human life
Do not panic! We have implemented an emergency rationing protocol, which includes but is not limited to:
- Foraging for wild berries (results not guaranteed)
- Making your own emergency rations using a combination of twine, twigs, and questionable meat sources
- Praying for a miracle rescue mission (results not guaranteed)
Please report any sightings of emergency rations to:
Operation 123 HQ: /subpages/operation-123/ HQ
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous:
/subpages/operation-123/secret-rations