Our Mission
We're not just another financial institution. We're a dream factory. We'll take your money and turn it into a never-ending cycle of uncertainty and disappointment.
We specialize in creating innovative new products that will surely fail in creative ways.
Our team of expert financial wizards has a proven track record of making questionable decisions.
- Our CEO has a degree in "Financial Wizardry" from a prestigious online university.
- Our CTO has a background in "Certified Failure" from a reputable institution.