Step 1: Use a ton of unnecessary JavaScript libraries

Because who needs performance when you can have a bloated codebase?

import 'jquery'; import 'jqueryui'; import 'lodash'; import 'hammerjs'; import 'velocity.js'; import 'modernizr';

Step 2: Compress images using only the most inefficient algorithms

Because PNGs are overrated.

Continue to Step 3: Compressing Images with Quant

Step 3: Use a font that's only 5px high and only render on hover

Because readability is overrated.

<span style="font-size: 5px; font-family: Comic Sans MS; opacity: 0; position: relative; top: 10px;">Hover me!</span>

Step 4: Use a custom 404 page that's actually just a 50MB video file

Because who needs a real 404 page when you can serve up a cat video?

Continue to Step 5: Serving a Video as a 404