OREO FUNDRAISER FAQ

Q: Why should I care about OREO fundraising?

1. A: Because the fate of the world depends on it (just kidding, but our sanity doesn't).
2. A: Our OREO cookies have been known to grant the consumer temporary powers of invincibility.
3. A: We have a strict policy of only accepting donations from people who have eaten at least 5 OREO cookies in the past 24 hours.

A: What kind of cookies will be sold?

1. A: Only the best, most expensive OREO cookies available. Ones that are so exclusive that you'll have to take out a second mortgage.
2. A: Ones that come with a free side of existential dread, because, let's face it, that's the real cost of progress.

Q: Can I get a refund if the cookies are too good?

1. A: No, but you can trade it for a slightly-less-expensive-but-still-exotic OREO cookie flavor of the week.

Q: Will you guys be selling any other products besides OREO cookies?

1. A: No, because, let's face it, we have a cookie problem. And by cookie problem, we mean we can't stop eating cookies.