A Global Cataclysm of Unfathomable Proportions
In a shocking turn of events, goldfish from all corners of the globe have risen up and begun devouring their owners' furniture. The cause is unknown, but speculation is rampant.
- Reports of goldfish in Tokyo's famous Tsukiji Fish Market devouring a sushi bar's worth of sashimi
- Goldfish in New York's Central Park have begun constructing a miniature replica of the Eiffel Tower using nothing but coral and discarded pizza crusts
- Scientists are baffled by the sudden appearance of a massive, glowing portal in the depths of the Great Barrier Reef, through which goldfish have begun pouring into the ocean, leaving behind trails of destruction and aquatic-themed puns
Theories Abound
- The Goldfish Illuminati: A Secret Society of Fish with a Taste for Chaos
- The Aqua-Virus: A Highly Contagious, Fish-borne Pathogen Spreading Panic and Destruction
- The Great Fishy Conspiracy: A Plot to Replace Humans as the Dominant Species