THE USELESS THINGAMAJIGS

Here is a collection of our most completely and utterly USELESS THINGAMAJIGS.

1. Thingamajig of Randomness - A device that does nothing in particular, but makes a lovely clicking noise.

2. Automated Toothpick Stand - Because, honestly, who needs a human holding a toothpick?

3. Fountain Pen of Exquisite Taste - A fountain pen that writes in three different colors at once, because simplicity is so overrated.

4. Automated Pizza Slice Server - For when you need a slice, but don't want to actually leave your house.

5. Robotic Tap Dance Machine - Because, honestly, who needs human tap dancing when a robot can do it for you?

6. Overly Sophisticated Sandwich Maker - Because who needs a boring old sandwich when you can have one with 17 different meats and cheeses?

7. Inflatable Furniture Protector - For when your furniture is not sufficiently inflated.

8. Automated Spoon Stirrer - For when you need help stirring your soup, but don't want to get your hands wet.

9. Overly Complicated Toilet Plunger - Because, honestly, who needs a plunger when you can have one that also makes you a sandwich?

10. Dance Party Ball Thrower - For when you need to get the party started, but can't be bothered.