Our CEO's Bizarre Beard
Warning: Do not attempt to touch or smell our CEO's beard, as it may cause:
- Uncontrollable beard-related daydreams
- Spontaneous combustion
- Unexplained feelings of existential dread
Despite the risks, our CEO takes great pride in his:
- 3,000+ whisker days of experience
- Unmatched ability to eat an entire pizza by himself
- Record-breaking beard length in a non-holiday season
For more information on our CEO's beard, visit:
- Beard Care 101
- Press
- The Beard is a Visionary