Our Best Guesses

We tried really hard, but we're not really prophets, okay?

Here are a few things we think might be true, but let's be real, we have no idea what we're talking about:

• The Apocalypse is Near
• Actually, the Apocalypse is in the Morning
• Our Guesses are Only Guessed at

Or, you know, maybe none of this matters. Maybe the world is just going to end up being a giant, sentient, talking pineapple.