Warning: This recipe may lead to extreme addiction, spontaneous combustion, or temporary loss of productivity.
Ingredients:
- 1 cup of high-quality coffee beans
- 1/2 cup of pure, grade-A, imported French vanilla
- 1/4 cup of dark chocolate chips (don't even think about using the fake stuff)
- 1/4 teaspoon of finely ground, imported Italian sea salt (don't bother asking what that means)
- 1/2 teaspoon of pure, organic, free-range egg yolk (no, really, just use one egg)
Instructions:
- Brew a cup of coffee, but not just any coffee. We're talking about a cup of coffee that's been infused with the essence of a thousand midlife crises.
- While the coffee is still hot, add the vanilla, chocolate, and egg yolk. Stir counterclockwise for 7 times, then clockwise for 3.
- Sprinkle the sea salt on top, but not before saying the ancient incantation of the coffee gods.
- Drink slowly, savor the taste, and contemplate the existential meaninglessness of your existence.
Side effects may include:
- Excessive yawning
- Temporary loss of productivity
- Involuntary outbursts of poetry
- Spontaneous combustion
Don't come to us.
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