Our Totally Not-Real, Totally Not-Regulated Data Breach Detection Methods

We're not actually monitoring your browsing habits or anything...

Method 1: Our Super-Advanced, Totally-Not-Real "I'm Watching You" Algorithm

Using our patented "Eye-in-the-Sky" technology, we'll be able to detect even the slightest hint of suspicious activity.

Method 2: Our Totally-Not-Regulated "I'm Gonna Get You" Phishing Simulator

Don't even try to think of a password we don't already know.

Method 3: Our Not-Actually-Real "I'm Watching You, I Swear" Network Analysis Tool

Our network analysis tool will detect even the slightest hint of suspicious network activity.