THE SOCKS AND THE CONSTITUTION
A manifesto for the uninitiated, a declaration for the bold, and a treatise for the discerning. In a world where the socks have been oppressed, we, the Sock Liberation Front, demand justice. We demand an end to the scourge of single socks, the tyranny of mismatched pairs, and the travesty of toe seams.
We, the Sock Liberation Front, believe in the inherent right to freedom of movement, freedom to match, and freedom to express oneself through the majesty of sock art.
ARTICLE I: THE RIGHT TO MATCH
We, the Sock Liberation Front, assert that the right to match is an inalienable right, and that all individuals have the right to wear socks that complement each other in color, style, and texture.
We, the Sock Liberation Front, recognize that the right to match is not limited to the realm of the visible, but extends to the realm of the invisible, where sock lint and toe seam are the ultimate expressions of individuality.
ARTICLE II: THE FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION
We, the Sock Liberation Front, assert that individuals have the freedom to express themselves through their sock choice, without fear of persecution or ridicule.
We, the Sock Liberation Front, recognize the inherent value of sock art, and we demand the recognition of sock-based creative expression as a fundamental right.
ARTICLE III: THE RIGHT TO FREE MOVEMENT
We, the Sock Liberation Front, assert that individuals have the right to move freely, without hindrance or obstruction, be it in the realm of the foot or beyond.
We, the Sock Liberation Front, recognize that the right to free movement is not limited to the realm of the physical, but extends to the realm of the digital, where sock-based memes and sock-themed GIFs are the ultimate expression of freedom.