| Bet Big, Lose Big | Buy Now, Regret Later | Invest in Nothing, Get Nothing |
|---|---|---|
| Place your life savings on a single, high-risk bet. The thrill of possibly winning will be worth the crushing defeat, right? | Click the 'Buy Now' button, and hope the 30-day return policy is long enough to cover the existential dread. | Just stand still, and maybe, just maybe, someone will notice you're not doing anything and give you a job. |
We at "Our Risk Strategies" can't be held responsible for your poor life choices. Don't come crying to us when the apocalypse comes.
Or, if you do, we'll just point you to the Underwater Betting page. That'll teach you.