Our Secret Handshake: Because You Clearly Need a Guide

Welcome, fellow misfits, to the ultimate guide to perfecting the art of the secret handshake. You know, the one you've been doing in the back of the bus, at the watercooler, or while trying to sneak past security.

Step 1: The Basic Grip

Start with the classic, the one that got you kicked out of the mall, or the library, or your mom's house. It's the one with the wiggly finger and the awkward elbow.

Substep 1a: Practice in front of a mirror

Make sure you're not making a mockery of yourself. Your mom will be there to offer constructive criticism.

Substep 1b: In front of a crowd

Now you're ready to take it to the next level. Show off that sweet, sweet wrist action to the entire school, or your office, or that one weird cousin at the family reunion.

Step 2: The Fancy Finger

For the advanced practitioner. The one with the extra flair. You know, the one with the fancy finger that's secretly a middle finger.

Substep 2a: Mastering the Wrist Twirl

Don't overdo it. You're not trying out for America's Got Talent.

Substep 2b: Adding a dash of sass

For that extra oomph. You know, the one that makes your friends go 'ooh, that's so cool, but not really, actually, not cool at all.'

Step 3: The Advanced Handshake

This is for the truly gifted. The ones who've mastered the basics, the fancier finger, and the art of not caring what anyone thinks.

Substep 3a: Adding some flair with the elbow

Don't get too fancy. You'll end up like the kid with the tutu and the sequined vest.

Substep 3b: The Finishing Move

The one that seals the deal, the one that says 'I've given up and just went full weird.'

Want to go advanced? For kids, because, well, they have no shame For parents, because they have no shame either