The Tree Whisperer's Guide: Our Secret Tree Planting Formula

The Formula:

  1. Step 1: Acquire 17 gallons of pure, undiluted tree sap.
  2. Step 2: Mix with 3 cups of artisanal, hand-grounded tree pollen.
  3. Step 3: Stir counterclockwise for 7 times while whispering ancient incantations to the forest spirits.
  4. Step 4: Plant the resulting mixture in a 3.14-acre plot, preferably on a Tuesday during a lunar eclipse.
  5. Step 5: Wait 4-6 years for the trees to grow, then repeat the process.

Side Effects:

May cause excessive tree growth, spontaneous singing, and temporary possession by the Forest King.

Learn more about the Forest King's tips for new planters!

Remember, only the most skilled and dedicated Tree Whisperers can master the ancient art of tree planting.

Join our secret society of Tree Whisperers! A picture of a Tree Whisperer in their natural habitat.