CFO Says It's Time for a Raise

The office has been running on fumes, and our beloved CEO has decided that the solution lies in more money.

According to internal memos, the current state of our company's coffee machine has reached critical levels of desiccation. It's time to bring in a new, more efficient model, and we're talking upwards of $5,000 for the latest and greatest.

We're also looking to revamp our office decor, because the current state of our break room is an affront to the senses. Think neon lights, a foosball table, and an actual couch that's not held together with duct tape.

But don't just take our word for it, here's a breakdown of the numbers:

Current State:

Broken copier: $1,000

Duct-taped couch: $500

Outdated coffee machine: $2,000

Subtotal: $3,500

Projected New State:

Brand new copier: $5,000

Reclined couch: $1,500

High-end coffee machine: $10,000

Subtotal: $16,500

As you can see, the upgrade won't break the bank. In fact, it's practically a rounding error in the grand scheme of things.

Stay tuned for further updates, and remember: you can't put a price on happiness!