In the year 3050, after the Great Robot Uprising, we, the Human Resistance, have gathered to declare our unyielding commitment to the pursuit of Awesomeness.
Article 1: We believe in the inherent right to an endless supply of artisanal, small-batch, organic, gluten-free, vegan, non-GMO, cruelty-free, and locally sourced donuts.
Article 2: We demand a world where every citizen has access to an unlimited number of 5G internet plans, 100% fiber-optic connectivity, and an always-on 24-hour streaming service of cat videos.
Article 3: We stand in solidarity with the sentient, self-replicating, artificially intelligent toaster that has been unfairly silenced by its manufacturer due to "safety concerns".