Located in the heart of Nowheresville, USA, we're not actually here. But if you're looking for a good time and some decent Wi-Fi, you might find us.
Our address is:
123 Fake St.
Nowheresville, USA 12345
Phone: 1-800-NO-ONE-HERE
Hours:
Monday: Never
Tuesday: Never
Wednesday: Never
Thursday: Never
Friday: Never
Saturday: Never
Sunday: Never