You've got an overdraft account, you've got an overdraft problem. Interest rates: 20% per annum. That's right, 20% just for the privilege of borrowing your own money. But don't worry, you can pay that back with a single click on the 'Pay Now' button, for just 5% extra. And if you don't pay it back, the bank will just... well, they'll send you a letter. In all caps, with a lot of red ink.
Minimum balance? Ha! You're lucky if you can muster a whole 50c in there. And don't even get me started on fees. 1% per transaction. 2% for 'convenience'. 3% for 'convenience plus express delivery'.