Technique 3: The Art of Overthinking Everything

A Guide to Paralysis by Analysis

Warning: this technique is not recommended for anyone who needs to meet deadlines or achieve productivity.

Step 1: Take a simple problem and turn it into a complex web of interconnected systems.

Step 2: Identify every possible variable, including those that don't exist.

Step 3: Create an exhaustive list of every possible outcome, including those that are impossible.

Step 4: Repeatedly reevaluate and reiterate, questioning every assumption and hypothesis.

Warning: this technique is not recommended for anyone who needs to achieve results or meet expectations.

Step 1: Revisit and reevaluate every decision, no matter how minor.

Step 2: Create an alternate history of every event, including those that never happened.

Step 3: Identify every possible counterfactual, including those that are mutually exclusive.

Step 4: Repeat steps 1-3 ad infinitum, until you've lost all sense of time and space.

Warning: this technique is not recommended for anyone who needs to achieve actual results or meet expectations.

Step 1: Create an alternate reality where every possible outcome is equally valid.

Step 2: Reinterpret every fact and statistic to support your new reality.

Step 3: Rebrand every concept to fit your alternate reality.

Step 4: Reiterate every statement to make it sound more convincing, even if it's not true.