Mandate 1: The Almighty Task List

Task 1: Wake up, get out of bed

It's 3 PM and you've been in your PJs for 12 hours. Get. Up.

Read on for further instructions

Task 2: Consume 5 cups of caffeine

Don't just drink it, inhale it. We're talking straight from the can.

Learn more about proper caffeine inhalation techniques

Task 3: Call your mom

She's been calling you for hours, so it's only fair you return the favor.

Read the manifesto on why you should always call your mom