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Our team of highly trained operatives has been tasked with the mission of creating an unprecedented amount of paperwork. The goal is to create a mountain of forms, reports, and spreadsheets that will inevitably lead to our eventual downfall. Our team of experts has been handpicked for their exceptional skills in Microsoft Excel and their ability to type 1000 wpm on a standard keyboard.
Our first phase will involve creating 10,000 identical reports, each with a different number of columns. We will use our patented Techno-Trickle method to generate these reports, which involves typing the same sentence over and over again while making small changes to the font size and color. The reports will be stored on a 1TB server, which will inevitably run out of space and crash, causing our entire system to fail.
Estimated time to complete: 3 days. Supplies needed: 1000+ keyboards, 10000+ pens, 1000+ highlighters.
Our second phase will involve creating 100,000 identical emails, each with a different subject line. We will use our Auto-Emailer software to generate these emails, which involves setting a timer for 10 minutes and pressing the repeat button 5000 times. The emails will be sent to our entire contact list, which includes 10,000+ people who will inevitably mark them as spam.
Estimated time to complete: 2 days. Supplies needed: 1000+ coffee machines, 10000+ energy drink cans. ประก