Welcome to the Subscription Box of Silently Observing You

Subscription Options:

• We'll watch what you eat
• We'll silently judge your bed-making habits
• We'll guess your passwords for you
• We'll count how many times you eat Cheetos in a row

Our team of experts have years of experience in the field of silently observing. We have PhDs in Surveillance, and are fluent in the art of staring intensely at things without being noticed.

Benefits of Subscribing:

• We'll watch you sleep
• We'll judge your Netflix queue
• We'll guess your favorite color (it's always blue)
• We'll observe your snore patterns