8 Ways to Justify the Accounts, Because, Let's be Real, You Need to

Reason 1: I'm a Time-Traveler from the Year 3000, and I know a thing prophets

According to my extensive knowledge of the future, your accounts are not only justified, but actually, they're also paying for my cat's therapist.

Learn more about quantum physics and how it relates to your accounts

Reason 2: I'm a Secret Agent, and this is Mission Justification 007

I've been trained in the art of stealth and deception, and I've determined that your accounts are, in fact, the key to world peace.

Check out our extensive collection of spy gadgets

Reason 3: I'm a Mad Scientist, and I've Conducted Extensive Research on the Matter

My lab results indicate that your accounts are not only justified, but they're also a direct result of the perfect blend of 72% coffee, 14% sugar, and 14% existential dread.

Learn more about our groundbreaking research

Reason 4: I'm a Professional Mourner, and I've Cried My Way to the Bottom of This

I've spent years studying the art of excessive grieving, and I'm here to tell you that your accounts are, in fact, the reason I'm still alive today.

Explore the depths of my sorrow

Reason 5: I'm a Professional Clown, and I've Painted on a Happy Face

As a master of the art of making people smile, I've determined that your accounts are, in fact, the reason for myประก

Reason 6: I'm a Professional Mourner, and I've Cried My Way to the Bottom of This

I've spent years studying the art of excessive grieving, and I'm here to tell you that your accounts are, in fact, the reason I'm still alive today.

Explore the depths of my sorrow

Reason 7: I'm a Professional Clown, and I've Painted on a Happy Face

As a master of the art of making people smile, I've determined that your accounts are, in fact, the reason for my happiness.

Learn more about my art

Reason 8: I'm a Time-Traveler from the Year 3000, and I know a thing or two about the Future

According to my extensive knowledge of the future, your accounts are not only justified, but actually, they're also paying for my cat's therapist, and also, they're going to be the reason for the end of the world as we know it.

Learn more about the apocalypse