A 7-Step Guide to Not Actually Walking the Dog
Stare intensely at the dog's picture on your phone for 10 minutes
Spend 20 minutes scrolling through weather apps to ensure it's not raining
Compare it to the leash from your favorite sci-fi movie and question its ergonomic design
Imagine the dog's life as a gritty, crime-drama series
Route-optimize using a mapping app while considering factors like 'dog-friendly' zones and optimal snack-stopping points
Claim the dog needs 'more time to digest its food' as a valid reason to cancel the walk
Pretend the walk 'technically' happened in your imagination