Welcome to the most underwhelming adventure of your life! We're glad you asked for it.
You'll find yourself in a never-ending loop of bureaucratic red tape, existential dread, and poorly lit coffee shops. Don't worry, it's not all bad!
You will never get a straight answer. Never. Ever ever.
What's the point of it all, anyway?
$5 for a cup of coffee that's only 90% filled with coffee.