Red Wine and Your Bank Manager: A Guide

Are you tired of your bank manager breathing down your neck every time you try to get a loan? Do you want to know the secret to making them love you like it's 1999 again? Look no further! This guide will walk you through the ancient art of making your bank manager fall in love with you, using the most potent tool of all: red wine.

Step 1: Acquire the Red Wine

Method	Effectiveness Level	Difficulty Level
Borrow from a vineyard	9/10	8/10
Buy from a wine bar	7/10	6/10
Steal from a neighbor	3/10	9/10

Step 2: Serve the Red Wine

Once you've acquired your red wine, it's time to serve it. But how do you make it most effective? The key is to serve it in a glass with a twist of ice, garnished with a sprig of rosemary, and a dash of sarcasm.

Learn more about the Ice Twist Learn more about Rosemary Learn more about Sarcasm

Side Effects

Side effects of serving red wine to your bank manager may include:

Increased likelihood of loan approval
Decreased likelihood of getting sued
Temporary loss of vision (due to the wine's high acidity)
Permanent damage to your liver (just kidding, it's not that bad)