Panic Button Techniques

I've Heard It All Already

Congratulations! You've reached the ultimate resource for when your life's a mess and you have no idea what's going on. Here are some techniques to help you pretend like you're in control:

• Pretend to Listen to Your Mom - A classic.
• Pretend to Be a Grown-Up - It's not that hard, really.
• Just Make Stuff Up - The art of fabrication, because who needs facts, anyway?
• Phone a Friend Who's Not a Moron - For when you need some semblance of sanity.
• Prophets of Doubt - Because sometimes you just need to be wrong.

Remember, these techniques are not foolproof, but they'll get the job done.