Welcome to the Producion Process, where we take pride in our artisanal methods of producing the most exquisite, the most regal, the most utterly useless Producions in the land.
Our process begins with the finest selection of ingredients, sourced from the farthest reaches of the globe. We carefully curate each item, ensuring that it meets our impossibly high standards of blandness and mediocrity.
Next, we subject our ingredients to a rigorous series of tests, designed to strip away any hint of flavor, texture, or character. This is where the art of Producion truly begins, as we coax and cajole the essence from our ingredients, leaving only the essence behind.
And so, after countless trials and tribulations, we arrive at the final stage: the Producion itself. A masterpiece of nothingness, a symphony of sameness, a paean to the mundane.
View the Finale Learn about our Finicky Ingredients Explore our Production Philosophy