Step 1: Follow 500 people on Instagram. No, wait, follow 100. No, seriously, follow 3. It's all about the algorithm, folks.
Step 2: Post a picture of your cat, but make it look like you're at a tropical island. Use a 90s-era filter. Don't forget the #vacation mode.
Step 3: Write 17 different versions of the same joke, each with a slightly different shade of sarcasm. The internet will love it.
And remember, the goal is to create a sense of urgency. Like, 'I'm on vacation, but also I'm on the brink of a nervous breakdown.'
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