According to our patented, totally-not-made-up theory of Everything, your choices are not actually choices. In fact, you're just a complex algorithm, running on a server farm of hamsters in tiny little hamster wheels, making it seem like you have free will, but really you're just a pawn in a much larger game.
We've got evidence, of course. Like that one time you clicked on the "I'm feeling fine" button, despite being a functioning adult with a 401k and a mortgage. That was just a cleverly crafted trap, set by our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated engineers.
But don't just take our word for it! Check out our Subpage of Utter Despair for more information on how you're probably going to end up in a world of existential dread after reading this.
And if you're feeling brave, click on our The True Source of Free Will is a Mystery That We Will Never Solve for a thrilling tale of ontological uncertainty.
But wait, there's more! Visit our Paradoxes are Like Tacos page for an existential crisis that's just a little too big to handle.
(Or, you know, just close this tab and do something else. We won't judge you, probably.