According to our research, time is relative, but only when it's convenient.
We've discovered that time is not actually a linear concept, but rather a series of poorly-organized socks in the laundry room.
But don't worry, our team of expert physicists have developed the Quantum Leap Theory, which explains that time is relative, but only when you're trying to meet a deadline.
We're still working on the whole "time dilation" thingy.